Equality

I can hardly begin to express my frustration, but let me take a crack at it. The California Supreme effing Court just doesn't get it. How is it possible that the Supreme Court of California has decided that the ban on same sex marriage is constitutional? This isn't about people voted on it and I should just deal with it. This is about people voting on rights, which should be disallowed in the first place. 

Murderers are allowed to get married. Murderers. People who take the lives of others. People who willingly and knowingly strip people of their right to live and breath...those people can get married, but me, no I can't. And I'm tired of hearing bullshit arguments of, "Well you can get married, you just have to marry someone of the opposite sex." Well isn't that fancy? 

You can't always get what you want, 

You can't always get what you want,

You can't always get what you want,

But if you try sometimes

You might find

You get what you need. 

~Rolling Stones, of course.

Maybe this loss is just what we need to propel ourselves forward into growth. Maybe this loss is a sign of rampant stagnant behavior in believing that someone else is and will be responsible for making sure my rights are handled neatly and tidily so I don't have to get my proverbial hands dirty. 

---

So that was on Tuesday as the decision was announced. I tend to not act out of anger. It's just how I was raised. It's not about not doing something I'll regret, but taking the best step forward. If I'm angry and haven't processed that part then I tend to not know what the hell I'm talking about and I just spout out silly arguments that sound better in my head than spoken. 

A friend of mine said that the decision was exactly what she expected, but I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed because I really thought that the Court would see that Constitutional rights were being trampled on. I'm still in the midst of processing exactly what the decision means, as far as what action needs to be taken so that I (we) may realize equality in rights around marriage.

There are arguments that state calling it marriage is the whole issue and as long as we (the gays) don't call it marriage, then we can have all the rights we want. There are arguments that state that not calling it marriage keeps a same sex [married] relationship different and somehow less meaningful than a heterosexual marriage by simply changing the word. This argument states that there is a specific connotation that comes with marriage, that connotation being that it's a permanent relationship and unless it's called "marriage" it's just not the same in the public's eye. There are the arguments that marriage ought to be between a man and a woman because that's the way that God intended it. And of course there are countless other arguments around this issue that I could spend all day recounting.

At the moment, I have no problem with calling marriage between same sex couples something other than "marriage" as long as the rights of each institution are equal. My inclination is to believe that no matter what "it" is legally named, it will end up just like Kleenex. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. So really, call it whatever you want to because to me, it doesn't matter what you think of my relationship--I'm not in it to please you. I'm in it to fulfill myself and my partner in sharing love, growing individually and as a couple, and everything that comes along with those paths.

My relationship with another woman has only the effect on another couple's relationship that they choose to allow it to have. One can choose to see my relationship as one of love and trust and support and partnership and growth and fun and struggle and learning; just like many heterosexual relationships. And of course there are other ways to view my relationship, but to do so is to ignore the truth of what the relationship is: love and growth. 

I challenge anyone who believes that God disapproves of my same sex relationship to look at your own life and address the things that God disapproves in your life and relationship before you go judging mine. I have my own relationship with God, and it doesn't include the judgement anyone else brings.

And as for Prop 8 being upheld, my first thoughts included: "This state sucks!" and, "Maybe it's time to get out of this place," and, "How can this progressive state be so shockingly stand-still?" I'm allowed my initial thoughts to flee. I'm glad I don't act on impulse. Because the reality is that California is a great state. I love living here, and this issue is not enough to get me out of here. And learning takes time. 

I'm willing to be a part of an action that brings California back to a state of grace, back to a place where people can come as they are and simply just be themselves. I am willing to fight for the things I believe in. I am willing to be a part of something greater than myself so that people after me can benefit from things I never had or things I had to struggle for. I hope that someday the GLBT community has the opportunity to take our equal rights for granted, and that we never do. 

Who Are We To Say?

I try not to go on rants about..well, about anything--outside of my journal--but this thought of the day, I guess, has been sitting in my inbox for over 4 months now, and I can't seem to delete it without saying something about it. So here goes:

From Jerry & Esther Hicks:

When that which is god -- or that which is that which man wants to call "God" -- is being understood by man, man has to translate it into the format he understands. But this Energy -- this Source that man is giving the label of "God", cannot be quantified in anything that man understands. And as man attempts to do it, the distortions are enormous.

Are we (humans) really so arrogant as to believe that we know we are right about who and what God is? About what God's intentions are with the world? Are we really so arrogant as to distort those beliefs and amend them to fit our lives? To suppose that we know who and where and how God has intervened into our lives? And that we ought to make sure everyone else understands just what we understand so they can be just as right with the world and God as we are?

I believe there's something strong, something profound about faith and believing in a power greater than ourselves. There must be, in order for life to be what it is, with all its eccentricities and life forms and microorganisms and coffee flavors. This is my belief, and I hold to it. That being said, my belief in no way diminishes or replaces whatever your belief, no matter how strongly you or I believe in them; they neither cancel each other out nor are in absolution, the Truth of what is. 

We cannot possibly know who and what we don't understand. And when we attempt to say that we do understand, we end up distorting whatever Truth that is unknown. Much of what is written about God comes from an archaic age, and has not changed with the times. Would we conduct business the same as we did 2,000 years ago because that's how someone who said he heard God speak said we should? 

So much is written about God, and even more so, translated. The bible is the most translated book in the history of books. Translation is neither simple, nor exact. Anyone who is fluent in more than one language knows that there is often not an exact word or phrase  when translating from one language to the other. Each language has its own idiosyncrasies and groupings of words that don't make sense when separate but ring true in their original form.

I find it interesting that we, "man", hold God in such high regard and say that He is all knowing and then promptly decide that we know what He's talking about (or what He even said to begin with). We allow ourselves to believe that our vision of God is the (only) Truth, rather than opening up to the idea that there may be many Truths, or at least that our Truth may not be all there is to it. 

Sheryl Crow, Hard to Make A Stand:

We got loud guitars and big suspicions,
Great big guns and small ambitions,
And we still argue over who is God
And I say, "Hey there Miscreation,
Bring a flower time is wasting
We all need a revelation"

But I wonder if part of the problem is that we're all trying to make a stand instead of listening, learning, being open to what someone else has to say instead of creating a space in which others must conform to. It is not possible to understand what we think of as God. I hope I am not so arrogant as to say that what I believe is the only Truth. 

Seek first to understand, and then to be understood. Love thy neighbor. And stop trying to be better than everyone else. Just try to be better than who you were yesterday. The world will be a much better place.