Fulfillment

For the next 3 days I'll be surrounded by an abundance of positive energy. Course #2 of 5 begins tomorrow in Glendale: Fulfillment Coaching. Based on what I've read in my Co-Active Coaching book, this weekend will be about coaching people into following their values. We all have values that are important to us, but when it comes to the daily task of living and honoring those values, we tend to spend a lot of time off course. I know I do. It's a constant battle to keep fresh in my mind what the big picture is with every decision I make. 

One of my values is self preservation. It's important to me that I maintain myself so that I don't get lost in anything or anyone and abandon myself, as I have in the past. I've ruined relationships over this, and several times I've come close to losing a job or two. I've been so involved in having whatever or whomever it is in front of me, that I forget that pursuing those things and/or people are not in line with a) who I am, b) what I want for myself, and/or c) where I want to be in life when it's all said and done.

Being fulfilled isn't about having things. It's about being healthy and whole. It's about honoring yourself and your values. And about taking care of yourself, even when things aren't easy. I watched A League of Their Own the other day (for the hundredth time, I'm sure), and a scene with Dottie and Jimmy stood out for me like it's never done before. 

Dottie Hinson: It just got too hard. 
Jimmy Dugan: It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great.

See, they're talking about baseball, but I think this applies to our lives and everything in them. When I think about the best things in my life, none of them have come easy. The bliss of my late 20's was a direct result of going through and dealing with my mother's death. The bliss of my current relationship is the direct result of a tumultuous end to my last relationship. The enjoyment of sitting on my front porch writing this blog is the direct result of nearly 2 months of frustration between buying the house, closing escrow, and having Verizon drill holes in the walls because the builders didn't think about putting phone or cable jacks in any of the rooms. 

It took knowing my values and honoring them in order to get exactly where I am today: in a state of fulfillment. If I choose to ignore my values, I fall out of that state. If I choose to honor them, I stay here. It doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it just means that I get to make decisions on how I create my happiness, based on what I already know of myself. I take the values of time in the fresh air and being productive, put them together and I get wireless internet on my front porch. It's easy to sit inside on the couch and do nothing. But it's more fulfilling to be out here on the porch. I put the values of eating healthy and spending quality time with friends and family together, and I end up with making my own meatballs and sharing them for dinner with Jill and Erin. It's easier to order something or go out to dinner, but it's more fulfilling to make it myself and have people I love in my home. 

As I look back at the last few years of my life, it's been a crap shoot as to whether or not I'm honoring my values. I get better at it though, the more I practice. I don't expect to ever be perfect at it, but I'm pretty excited that, at the very least, I recognize what my values are. And I really don't mind working on honoring them, even as they change and evolve--even as I change and evolve. I don't mind the hard...the hard is what makes it (whatever it is) great.