Meditation

I'm truly in awe of this meditation thing. I can't seem to do two days in a row, at least not for any great length of time because, so far, each meditation has been such a powerful experience. I suppose with time I will have less to release, maybe less tension and more balance, and the meditations will serve as turning the covers rather than building the bed. 

Today's mediation was, again, focused on releasing the old and making room for the new. Aside from a quick peek 30 seconds into the meditation (it was actually on accident), I was able to keep my eyes closed without much effort. The hard part wasn't even keeping still, but sitting up straight and maintaining good posture. Maybe that will also come in time. As for the ease of the eyes and the stillness, I think I can comfortably attribute that to giving meditation the proper respect when sitting down with it. 

In the past I've believed that I couldn't do it. That it wouldn't work. That it was silly. That it was for other people, but not for me. That I'd have to be far to existential in order for meditation to work for me. That I'd have to wear long, flowing dresses in the wind and linen shirt/pant suits in order to really grasp the concept. Essentially, I accepted any excuse for not meditating.

And now that I've begun to make a (semi) habit of it, I'm finding that if I just let myself go, let myself think, the meditation does the rest. Elizabeth Gilbert talks a little bit about this in her book, Eat, Pray, Love, and maybe that's what allowed me to give meditation a chance. Apparently, just like everything else in life, meditation takes practice. 

So I will continue to sit in silence with myself and my thoughts, and be open to the idea that meditation is not just for enlightened people, but regular city folk like me, as well. And maybe, just maybe, one day I'll be able to get lost in myself so deeply that an hour or two goes by and my eyes don't even think about peeking.